Today I was thinking about this whole plan for my body changes and realized that as far as blogging about bringing sexy back, there are other things I've been doing to take care of myself mentally and emotionally. I think it's important that I spend time reflecting on more than just the physical changes I've been working on. About 2 months ago (kiddo was between 6 and 7 months), I was in a really bad place emotionally. I was really struggling to keep it together every day. I knew that it was probably a little bit of post partum depression and that if I didn't address it, things could easily get worse. Thankfully I've been in and out of counseling for the last 10 years and I don't have any issues with going where I need to go in order to get help. I called up 2 of my friends that have personally coached me through the years, started taking time out for myself each day and made an appointment with a counselor. I absolutely believe that when I take even the smallest amount of action in order to right myself, that I'm met more than halfway by my Higher Power. Just making those phone calls and going to that first appointment completely changed the way that I felt. I've continued the counseling and I've continued to speak to my friends openly about how I'm feeling on a regular basis and I can say that I'm feeling more like myself today than I have in the last 9 months.
I have struggled with body image and my weight most of my life. I know from my past experience in getting healthy that when I make transformation all about my appearance, it never works for me. Not only that, but it can also make my mental state pretty scary as well. This time, I just ignored the mirror and focused on the inside first. I knew that if I took care of myself emotionally and spiritually, that the physical aspect would be a piece of cake. I haven't discussed that here because originally this was about my getting active again and paying better attention to my food intake. However, I couldn't get here without first addressing the dark place I was living in a couple of months ago. As I was leaving my counseling appointment today it occurred to me that I was leaving out an important part of the journey by not talking about this stuff. I realized that this blog could seem superficial and all about trying to get back into my size 8 jeans, but it's really not. It's really about me trying to reclaim some of myself after having a baby, and there is a balance that I am keeping in my sights. There are 3 sides to bringing sexy back, and they are all equally important.
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